Couples Counseling Denver : Top 5 Reasons Couples are Seeking Counseling Services in 2022 

Sometimes, seeking couples counseling in Denver may feel like the last resort. Maybe it’s the investment; maybe it’s the fear of what drudging up past issues will do to your relationship; maybe it’s the fear of the unknown. All of these concerns are valid and completely common. Couples Counseling, along with traditional Individual Counseling, isn’t always a walk in the park. In fact, counseling can often feel more like your first 14’er. Included with unpredictable weather and the last minute realization that you completely under packed! Once you get to the “top,” you feel accomplished and confident in yourself, until you realize you have to get back down… ugh.

Like any impactful change, counseling requires commitment. Commitment to being challenged and a commitment to trusting the process. If your relationship has been through the ringer recently (especially within the last 2 years of the COVID era), you aren’t alone. To normalize the desire to seek couples counseling Denver, I wanted to share some of the trends this year that we are seeing post COVID that are bringing couples into our virtual offices. The year 2020-to present day has had a huge impact on our relationships and if you are on the fence about reaching out, please know that couples counseling is here to support your relationship. This is what we were trained to do!

Here are the recent top 5 reasons couples are reaching out to our practice for couples counseling Denver:

#1 To Discuss Family Planning

With the past couple years we have all endured, it would make sense that couples are struggling with future planning. Life pretty much flipped upside down and a lot of things shifted our original plans and goals. Couples are seeking support to discuss fears and/or any build up of resentment about the changes they are experiencing about the unknown of their future planning. If your plans have changed and you aren’t sure how to get back on track, we can help!

#2 To Repair Infidelity

More so than usual, I am seeing an increase with couples contacting us for help with recent affairs or even past infidelity that they had never fully repaired. Maybe there is a coincidence with the last couple years being so taxing on our relationships, maybe not. Maybe the disconnect between partners and any past infidelity has become impossible to ignore. Either way, if you’re struggling with infidelity in any sense, we are here to support both of you with an unbiased and non-judgmental stance.

#3 To Stop Having Consistent Arguments

Couples are mentioning that because of last couple year’s changes, they may have found themselves in the house together more without a lot of outlets. In addition, they both may have been struggling with work/life balance, which has resulted in more consistent arguments. Even if the arguments themselves are not “the problem,” couples are expressing the need to unpack them and understand why they are having more of them in the first place. Couples are seeking the tools to better navigate the transitions in the world, as well as the impacts they have had on their mental health and relationships. Couples are wanting the tools to better repair conflict and build healthy boundaries so consistent arguments don’t consume their day-to-day.

#4 To Better Communicate

Still one of the most popular reasons couples seek support is to better communicate. If 2020 has shown us anything, it is that the unexpected happens sometimes and it is purely out of our control. This can heighten stress and anxiety, which most likely bleeds into your relationship. As mentioned, couples are also struggling with boundaries and personal time. It can be challenging to communicate effectively if you feel overwhelmed and smothered by day-to-day responsibilities. Maybe the two of you haven’t had a “date night” in forever, or you can’t seem to work up the energy to have sex. Maybe your needs aren’t being address and you’re both not prioritizing your relationship in the ways you once did. All of these factors can affect your communication style, which can impact the entire relationship. We can help you both learn to vulnerably communicate, as well as hear each other before making assumptions or getting triggered.

#5 To Help with Social/Familial Dynamics

Because of the challenging years we have all endured, our social outlets and support systems have changed. Maybe it has decreased or maybe there have been a conflict of values that have emerged. Either way, this can be very disheartening during a time when you feel you need others the most. Same goes with family. Maybe the social, political and religious polarities have divided your family and these shifts have caused hurt feelings or tensions in your relationship. Either way, we can’t deny that everyone has their own take on the world and if you find yourself in conflict about it (with anyone you care about) it can be isolating and frustrating. We can help you both get on the same page and work towards building a plan at setting boundaries and working on acceptance together as a team.

“We couldn’t be more grateful for finding Alysha. It’s been about 14 months since we met her and she helped us figure out the right tools and communication techniques to work through arguments on our own. My boyfriend moved in about 6 months before quarantine in 2020, and it was a tough adjustment for both of us when we were more or less the only human interaction each other had. She helped me understand where my partner was coming from (and why) in ways I would have never navigated on my own, and we’re in an amazing place now. Couldn’t recommend her – and her style of getting to know us – any more!

Real Client Testimonial | Lindsay from Denver

If you are looking for Couples Counseling Denver, we are here to help! Remember, we still specialize in preventative counseling and intimacy enhancement. Couples continue to come to us wanting to explore deeper areas of their relationship and it doesn’t always have to be prompted by stressors in the relationship. Read more about what really brings couples into counseling. 

Contact us today to schedule a FREE 15 minute consult! At the moment we are only offering virtual sessions that you can conveniently access in the comfort of your own home.

The post Couples Counseling Denver appeared first on Modern Love Counseling.

8 Tips on How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Staying Grounded During Times of Social Isolation and Fear

How to Stay Calm During COVID10 Outbreak | I’m not a scientist, a doctor or a politician; but what I am, is human. The threat of a new virus spreading throughout our planet is a terrifying reality. It has killed many people, as well as caused panic and hysteria for many others. Maybe you have found yourself detached from the fear, but are more or less feeling stir crazy being stuck in your house, questioning whether or not you should meet up with a friend for a cocktail or even go to the grocery store. On whatever level you find yourself physically or emotionally impacted by COVID19, your life is disrupted.

Now what do we do?

My advice for staying (or becoming) calm during a trying time of social isolation and unknown is to find the silver lining. Not to be insensitive or to minimize anyone’s experience, but more or less trying to help reframe the fear that can often be debilitating for many of us. Ask yourself, “What can I personally learn or even gain from this misfortune?” It is important during these times to self reflect, to understand what it is that you are really feeling and to challenge yourself to not avoid, but work with the things you can’t change.

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak : Tip #1

First off, this is a great opportunity to start learning how to detach from your obsession with control. You’ve more than likely been conditioned to believe that the more you do the more you can control any outcome in your life. Right now especially, you may feel completely anxious, helpless and scared because it is obvious you can’t control any of this. It is OK to feel scared about what’s happening; it is something unknown in our lifetime.

The thing you have to remember, is our anxiety is bred on unknown experiences. We need to learn to allow anxiety to be a normal part of the human experience without trying to fix it. Without judgment, obsessing over it’s cause or without complete avoidance of it altogether.

The second we try to fix our anxiety, is the second we dismiss our emotions. The second we dismiss our emotions, is the second we make our fears even louder and more irrational. The second our fears become irrational, we feel completely tormented by them and then we are stuck in panic. Bottom line, don’t try to control anything right now. Accept that control is an illusion. Realize that most likely one of the biggest fears you are struggling with is less about the virus and more about what you can’t do to stop it.

It’s time to remind yourself that this is not your responsibility to fix (because one person can’t possibly fix this), but your responsibility is to help. This can look like honoring the social distancing no matter how uncomfortable, donating money, food or toilet paper, supporting local businesses by ordering take out, etc. Do your part without feeling the weight of fixing it.

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Tip #2

Take this opportunity to be socially isolated as a meaningful time to reflect and explore things about yourself, your home, your partner, your children in ways that you are always “too busy” to do. When do we ever give ourselves a substantial amount of time to just reflect? To be bored? To be so present that you feel every little noise inside of your body? If this sound incredibly uncomfortable to you, I’d challenge you to ask yourself, why? Be grateful that on some level, during a moment of social isolation, is calmness in its rawest form. We can cherish this moment to breathe and take it slow. We need that, in a world full of GO GO GO.

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Tip #3

Keep perspective. After you’ve allowed yourself to feel your feelings, write down all the logical pieces to this outbreak and give yourself permission to remind yourself that this too shall pass. Generations prior to our’s have struggled with chaos and have managed to pull through; we will all pull through this chaos too.

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Tip #4

Change your habits. Period. During this time of social isolation, you may start to realize how much your phone alerts you of upcoming news breaks or you may become more aware of how many hours you may spend scrolling through endless content on social media. Even if you follow “positive” people on social media, you cannot get away from the bombarding negativity that is generated through ads or stories.

Your habitual relationship to your phone is making you more fearful, less empowered and way more susceptible to feeling lonely and depressed!

Turn off all alerts, take a break from social media and if you need a positive distraction, find a show on Netflix because at least you can “control” its content!

You should also limit the amount of COVID19 exposure you have; if you’re more sensitive to what you are watching/reading/discussing, limit yourself to COVID19 news to once a day for 20 minutes to stay up to speed with what’s happening without absorbing so much that it becomes a detriment. You will be ok not knowing EVERY hourly increase of the number of people affected by the virus, or how many points the stock market has swayed. It’s time to live smarter, not harder and ask yourself which of your habits are actually contributing to the fear, isolation and loneliness and which are supporting you and your mental health.

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Tip #5

Use this time to nurture your faith. Faith doesn’t have to be religious, (although it can absolutely be), but it can mean you find space to deepen your beliefs in a higher power, energy, protection, guardian, support, and/or comfort. This can be incredibly soothing to us in moments of feeling out of control and/or lost. If you are unfamiliar with what faith means to you, try initially reading about different types of spirituality/religions to gain a knowledge on practices and values that may speak to you. If you are more logical of a person, focus on your faith in science and technology; the resilience of the human species. Whatever you need to help ground you.

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Tip #6

If you aren’t wanting to spend much time with friends and family in person, be sure you FaceTime, text or call often. Maybe plan to watch a funny movie together, even if you’re afar.

Whether you live alone or with people, start creating traditions. Text your friends daily horoscopes and discuss it later in the afternoon, at 3pm stop and drink a cup of tea, try to meditate daily? Whatever it is, this could be a good time to implement a daily tradition that becomes sacred.

If you are in a relationship and live together, plan intentional time to actually sit and talk to each other. I have included a fun Communication Activity to inspire some intimate communication.

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Tip #7

Go on a walk or jog in your neighborhood and find 5 things that you’ve never noticed. Practice mindfulness daily. It is pretty eye-opening when you start to realize how many things are in your daily environment that you have never seen. This can even go as far as freckles on your partner’s face, spices in your cabinet, your dog’s antics. What is around you that you have never really noticed?

How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak: Tip #8

Bottom line, be grateful. We often forget to appreciate the luxuries of our life– we want something, we get it. We aren’t often told we can’t have something, let alone can’t go somewhere. So take a moment to reframe your “needs.” Do you have shelter? Do you have clothes? Do you have love? Do you have food? Do you have water? Do you need that specific brand of hand sanitizer or that 15th box of cereal? Do you need to get out of your house to enjoy dinner? Do you need immediacy and instant gratification? It is so easy to sit in the fear and negativity in moments like these, but it’s OK to look out your window and truly appreciate the beauty that still exists if we choose to see it. In moments of scarcity, we can truly identify what our real values and needs actually are.

Gratitude is the antidote to fear. So count all the amazingness that surrounds your everyday.

Take a moment to really appreciate all that we take for granted daily.

All and all, plan to cook a meal that takes more than an hour to prepare, deep clean your closets or clip your dog’s nails. Have sexy time with yourself in a hot shower, or ask your partner to join. Do the things that we often avoid because we “don’t have time.” Do the things that you “wish you had time for,” because now, you have no excuse.

And… wash your hands!

The post How to Stay Calm During COVID19 Outbreak appeared first on Modern Love Counseling.